The Frequency of Kindness & Its Ripple Effect

Season 2: Episode 21: The Frequency of Kindness & Its Ripple Effect

⁠In this episode, Kristin explores kindness as an energetic frequency and how learning to notice, receive, and embody kindness can transform your nervous system, your relationships, and the way you experience the world.

Rather than forcing positivity or bypassing real challenges, Kristin shares how training your attention toward kindness becomes a grounded spiritual practice that creates meaningful change from the inside out.

You’ll learn how small moments of kindness soften the body, restore connection, and generate a powerful ripple effect that extends far beyond what we can see.

In This Episode:

• Why kindness is an energetic frequency (not just a behavior)

• The hidden impact of receiving kindness (and why it’s harder than giving)

• How your brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) filters what you notice

• The science behind negativity bias & why we need more positive input

• How to retrain your brain to notice kindness daily

• Why kindness must be embodied before it can be sustainably given

• A simple 4-step Kindness Frequency practice

• How small acts of kindness quietly change the collective
  

Weekly Practice:

• Set the intention each morning to notice kindness

• Keep a simple kindness log

• Practice receiving with a genuine “thank you”

• Let kindness naturally overflow back into the world
  

Takeaway:

The world doesn’t change through a few grand gestures, it changes through millions of small, intentional acts of kindness. When you shift your focus, you shift your frequency. And when enough of us operate from the frequency of kindness, everything begins to change.

If this episode resonated, share it with someone who could use this reminder.

Until next time, remember: true abundance is success of the soul.

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💻 Visit  ⁠Kristin’s website⁠ or connect via Instagram @kristinsvetscoaching⁠ 

🎧 Subscribe to the Abundant By Design Podcast for weekly inspiration and energetic alignment tools.

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Transcript

Season 2: Episode 21- The Frequency of Kindness & Its Ripple Effect

Hello, my friends. Welcome back. I'm so grateful you're here, as always. And this week, especially it being the month of February, which with Valentine's Day right in the middle of it, it always has this theme of love, right? And I also really love to focus on self-love in the month of February, because I do think it's so important that we cultivate all of that.

In today's episode, we're going to talk about the really powerful arm of that, that is the kindness frequency. And yes, the world desperately needs more kindness right now. I know that with the sense of chaos and things that are going on in the world, that brings up a lot of anger, which has its place. And then even within that, we see the people who are the helpers and that they're doing the good things. And so we do see kindness being highlighted because we actively need to look for it in the moments of chaos that are around us. But I think a really powerful thing to do is to bring that home to ourselves? So within this theme of self-love, we probably have practiced or think that we're good at putting kindness out into the world. But are we good at receiving kindness? So I want you to think back to a moment where someone showed you unexpected kindness.

Maybe it was a stranger who held the door when your hands were full, or maybe it was a friend who texted you exactly when you needed to hear from someone. Maybe it was just that person who let you merge in traffic without any drama. Isn't that interesting that the car always brings out such wild emotions, and if they don't let you in it creates such a sense of anger, but when they let you in, it's like this, it's like an exhale. Like, that's so nice, thank you. You know, just any moments like that of someone giving you a genuine smile. And I want to ask you, can you remember a moment like that? And notice in your body when you remember it, what happens? It is that exhale. It's a softening, a warmth is actually underneath that. It's a sense of being seen and being cared for even in these small ways, even when it's a stranger. Because that is what kindness does. It creates a connection. It reminds us that we're not alone. And it shifts you out of a frequency of isolation or a frequency of stress or a frequency of chaos into a sense of peace and belonging. what I've really thought about is that most of us are actually surrounded by kindness every single day, but we haven't trained our brains to see it. We are trained to see the problems, the threats, what's wrong, what's missing. And this is because our brains are wired for survival. They're not actually wired for this sense of savoring life. And that is why this work is so important. So today I want to teach you and talk through how to retrain your brain.

So today I want to talk through how to retrain your brain, how to tune into what I call the kindness frequency. Because when you learn to notice the kindness and receive it fully, and then you naturally put it back out into the world, you give it to others, you become a part of the solution to the chaos and the divisiveness that we are all navigating at this moment in time. And again, this isn't about forcing positivity. It's not about ignoring the real problems that are out there. It's about training your attention and your focus on what actually creates the type of world that we want to live in. Because our everyday lives are actually the sum of that. It's where we put our energy and focus. And so if we give ourselves the gift of stepping back from the doom scrolling and the chaos and the TV news, yes, be informed. Yes, know what's going on, but allow your nervous system to step away and choose to see the kindness that's even happening to you so that we cultivate it as a sense of energy within ourselves and then that's what we're putting out into the world. It is the ripple effect. So let's talk about those two different types, even layers of kindness. So most of us, of course, have spent time and have heard in gratitude practices and things to raise our focus on that first layer of kindness, which is giving it.

Absolutely, yes, be kind, do nice things for other people, help people, show up, give back. And that's so beautiful when we do that. It's so powerful. It actually makes you feel better than the person receiving it. And that's so important. But today I want to talk about this other layer because it doesn't get talked about that much. And it is about receiving kindness. Because for most people, this is the harder one. We are better at giving than receiving. We're more comfortable being the helper than being helped. We love doing things for others, especially when it's friends. You know, we love doing things for others when it's like easy and it's part of our love language. And then when someone does something kind for us,

It is very natural for many of us to deflect it or even minimize it. You know, like that will say you didn't have to do that. Or if someone's maybe like thinking you are complimenting you and you're like, it's nothing. And why do we do that? It is because that receiving requires another level of vulnerability requires acknowledging that we need support. And that is the secret of life. We all need support. Even when we look like we have it all together, we don't have it all together. We are all worthy of care, even when we haven't asked for it, or even when we haven't that sense of earning it. We feel like we have to earn it.

We just don't. And many of us weren't taught that we're worthy just for who we are, just for existing. We were taught that we have to earn love and even kindness to prove our value. And here's what I want you to do right now. Is back away from that worthiness and value story that lives in the subconscious maybe.

And just think of three times in the last week when someone was kind to you, even in the littlest way. Maybe it was something small. Maybe it felt insignificant. But try to identify just three moments in the past week of kindness that was sent towards you. And I am curious if you're struggling to come up with anything.

And that's important information because one of two things is happening. Either kindness genuinely isn't showing up in your life, which is possible, but I'm going to guess it's unlikely. Or more commonly, what's happening is that kindness is actually happening all around you, but you're not noticing it. Your brain is filtering it out because we're so focused on what's hard, what's heartbreaking, what's stressful, what's going wrong, that the kindness becomes invisible in our everyday lives. Or it becomes, maybe invisible is a strong word, but just less of an effect. And here's why.

It matters that you notice it because if you can't see the kindness, then you're not receiving it. You're not letting it land in your body. If you can't receive it, you can't fully embody it. And if you can't embody the kindness that you received, then you can't genuinely give it away without depleting yourself.

So think about that. That is the normal mode of operation. When you're constantly giving from a depleted cup, when you're being kind to everyone else, but never letting kindness land back in your own heart, in your own soul, in your own body, eventually, of course, you burn out. You feel neglected. And so then eventually, your kindness becomes this obligation instead of an overflow. But when you learn to notice it and receive it, when you let it fill you up, then the giving becomes natural and effortless and joyful. That's when you're not giving from duty, you're giving from a place of abundance. So if you couldn't think of those three kind moments from this past week, then decide in this moment that you're going to open up your ability to see things and receive. And let's talk about how we can all do that, whether we noticed those three moments in the past week or not. It is our job to start seeing them more often and receiving that. And so how do we do that? That is where some fun science and brain work comes in.

And that is our reticular activating system. People call it RAS for short. Maybe you've heard about it. And it is that part of our brain that acts like a filter. Because every second, we're being bombarded with millions of pieces of sensory information, the sights and sounds and sensations and everything all around you. And...

If your brain actually tried to process all of that, you'd be completely overwhelmed, similar to what social media is doing to all of us. So your RAS filters, it decides what's important for you to notice and what to ignore. And the way that it works is it filters based on what you have told it is what matters.

So I'm sure you have played this game of this classic example of like look for a specific car. Say I haven't seen any red cars lately or I haven't seen any white cars anywhere and then all of a sudden the entire parking lot will be the red cars or the white cars or the highway. And it's fascinating because those cars were always there but now your brain is actively looking for them because you've signaled that they're important. It's the same thing when you learn about a new word or a new place or a new, just any new concept coming your way and then all of a sudden you hear about it multiple times in the same week. That is not magic. That is your reticular activating system. It's your RAS.

And this is where this gets powerful, is that you can train your RAS to look for kindness. Most of us have accidentally trained our RAS to look for problems, for threats, for what's going wrong. That is survival wiring. And it kept our ancestors alive. It's really useful. But it also means that we are naturally walking around with a negativity bias, constantly scanning for danger. This is a big problem for me. I am always thinking of like worst case scenario first, which is why this work is so important to me and so powerful for me because I have to reframe that. I have to reframe worst case into, then what's the best case? How can we offset this?

And so that is what I want to help you to do as well, is because since we have this negativity bias in our brain, we actually need four pieces of positive information to offset every piece of negative information. That has been scientifically proven by some happiness scientists. And so really think about that because the news and social media and you know, maybe just some interactions with people sometimes, there is a lot of negative things that set off that survival wiring. And we need four pieces of positive information to offset one of them. And this is why we want to overload our system with the positive so that we stand in our true power so that we can show up into this chaotic world and actually make a difference, actually be a voice of positivity and bringing love and kindness back into the world. So what if you intentionally reprogrammed your brain? What if you said, brain, I want you to start showing me kindness. I want you to notice when people are kind to me. I want to see the small gestures those moments of connection, the care that's already happening to me and around me. And your brain will listen. It will start filtering for kindness, and suddenly you will see it everywhere. again, just like those cars were always there, it's not that the world suddenly became kinder. It's because you said, I'm not going to focus on all the stuff that's going wrong in the world, I want the first thing to focus on is the kindness that was always already there. So here's your practice that I'm inviting you to commit to for this week ahead because it will change how you experience your days. step one is to set the intention in the morning. So when you wake up before you check your phone or jump in your to-do list, say to yourself silently or out loud if you want to, today I'm going to notice kindness. I'm going to see when people are kind to me and I'm going to receive it.

And that's it. You're programming your RAS with doing that. And then if you want to take it another step, you could keep a kindness log. So throughout the day, actually write down those moments of kindness that you notice. Keep a note in your phone, or if you want to be old school and carry a small journal with you, and count.

the small things, even when someone held a door for you, somebody smiled at you, and somebody said thank you genuinely, maybe they listened when you needed to talk, let's put out in the world that maybe somebody's gonna buy you that coffee, right, which is always fun to receive that. And so these don't have to be grand gestures, but they're acts of kindness. And when you start writing them down, you'll be shocked at how many that you actually see happening each day. So then step three would be to practice receiving. And this is where most of us just naturally resist. When someone does something kind for you,

Your simple job in that moment is to just pause and make eye contact if you can and genuinely say, thank you, that was really kind. Not like, you didn't have to do that and definitely not the it's nothing type words. Those really reduce what the person did for you. And it hurts you as much as it hurts them. So just receive it. Let it land. And then this is the important part of how we start to embody this is that you notice how it feels in your body. That warmth, that softening, that sense of an exhale.

the sense of being cared for. So let yourself feel it for three full breaths. Let yourself sit in that moment and let the kindness actually reach you and sink into you. And then step four is just let that kindness flow back out of you naturally. There is an overflow that will start to happen. When you are noticing and receiving kindness, you're just naturally gonna wanna give it, not from obligation, not from, I should be a good person or I wish I was a better person. No, like there's a genuine overflow because you've changed the frequency of your energy in your body. You'll hold the door for someone because you remember how good it felt when someone did that for you. You'll send a kind text because you remember how much it mattered when you received one and you smile at the stranger because you know how much a genuine smile can shift someone day.

You'll smile at a stranger because you know how much a genuine smile can shift someone's day. This is kindness as a frequency, as a way of being, not forced, not performed, but just intentional, and then it becomes natural. It becomes a way of being.

And of course, the reason that this matters so much right now is because the world feels so heavy right now. It is so divided, chaotic, overwhelming. There is so much that we can't control. And yes, there's so much that feels broken and obviously so much pain and heartbreak and conflict and uncertainty. And in the face of all of that, focusing on small acts of kindness might feel insignificant, like and in the face of all of that, focusing on small acts of kindness might feel insignificant. But what I believe with my whole heart is that the world doesn't change through grand gestures from a few people. It changes through these small acts of kindness from millions of people.

This is how we change the world, is how we change, how we show up every day. We elevate our frequency and that has this ripple effect. Every time you notice kindness, you're training your brain away from the fear and towards connection. And every time you receive kindness, you're allowing yourself to be vulnerable and human.

and grateful, which then gives other people permission to do the same. And then every time you let that overflow and you give kindness, not from duty, but from abundance, you're adding another layer to the ripple effect that touches more people than you'll ever know. And I really don't see this as naive optimism.

I truly believe that this is how change happens, person by person, moment by moment, choice by choice. We cannot fix everything, but we can choose to see humanity as the person in front of us. We can choose to be present with the small kindnesses that are already happening. And then,

that gives us this elevated frequency that we can choose to be a part of the solution instead of adding to the noise. And when enough of us do that, when enough of us start operating from the kindness frequency instead of the fear frequency, the whole energy is going to shift.

Because again, what you focus on expands. And if you focus on division and chaos, you'll see more division and chaos. And if you focus on kindness, you'll see more kindness. And it's not because you're ignoring reality. It's because you're training your attention on what you want to grow. This is a spiritual practice. This is how we change the world.

from the inside out. And so my invitation to you, again, is for this next week, for these next seven days, or however long you want to, is to commit to that practice of setting the intention every morning, keeping a kindness log, practice receiving, notice what happens. And I promise you by the end of the week, you'll see the world differently. You'll see more of the light. And it's not because the world changed, it's because you did.

And if this is resonating with you and you want to take it deeper, share this practice, share this episode with someone you love. If you're just sharing the practice piece of it, tell them that you're doing a kindness experiment and invite them to join you. And then you could compare notes at the end of each day and celebrate the kindness that you're noticing together. Because again, when the practice happens with others, then we're just amplifying the frequency. We hold each other accountable and we remind each other to look for the good and we become a community of people choosing connection over division. And that is what the world needs more of right now. Not more arguments, not more fear, not more walls and separation. The world needs more people who are actively training their brains to see kindness, receive kindness, and give kindness freely. And that's you. That can be your work this week if it calls to you. That's your contribution. And it matters more than you know because you will be operating from the kindness frequency.

And so of course in closing, you know, I always love to say that true abundance is success of the soul and that that isn't just about what you achieve or accumulate. It's the quality of the presence that you bring to your days. It's how you show up for the people around you. And it is choosing this connection of seeing kindness, receiving kindness, giving kindness of choosing love and creating that ripple effect. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for choosing to see kindness. And again, if this resonated with you, please share it with someone who needed this reminder today. And until next time, remember that you are inherently abundant by design.